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Good afternoon, gentle readers!
One of my own, today.
The seeds of this idea were planted a few days ago,
during a conversation with a coworker.
It seems the seeds found fertile soil.
I would love to hear what you think.
Thanks for reading!
There it was.
The gods were good.
It was the perfect moment for an ambush.
They had tracked it assiduously for weeks: From the village, smoking and ruinous, where sooty villagers buried their dead and rebuilt their homes with a plodding, listless stolidity; west, through the farmlands, reading the scatter of cattle carcasses like the careless casting of a mad shaman’s runes; kicking mud and loam from their boots in the depths of primeval forests, finding and tasting the dragon’s spoor, taking the lay of the land from the tops of the tallest trees; further still, slipping down slopes of slithering scree, collecting the sheddings of the serpent’s skin where it paused to roll in the sharp stones by stinking sulfurous springs; across undulating hills like a rucked blanket creased by rivers, following the fear in the eyes of furriers and ferrymen.
To this place, here: a snowy ridge furred by the ferns in which they lay.
They were: Augustus; ever alert, sword in a scarred knuckly hand, shield at the ready, muscles bunching and tense beneath the straining straps of his heavy iron armor. Proviciam; hugely fat, swathed in furs, eyes narrowed in a ruddy, cherubic face, though his gaze is turned inwards as he silently mouths hexes and charms through his ice-crusted beard. Grogolex; nearly naked, skin as pale as the snow except where blue veins show through, filed teeth clenched in a shark’s grin, massive axe near at hand.
The three looked over the ridge upon a scene from the grimmest of fairytales. The dragon, evidently, had espied a unicorn whilst a-wing. Dropping silently from the air, it had pinned the poor beast to the frigid earth. There the unicorn whinnied and snorted. Reptilian claws pricked ruby rivulets of magical blood from its throat. The dragon maneuvered its long, sinuous body, wrapping its equine prey with a serpentine coil of muscle and scale. Draconic hindquarters gripped haunches of horse. A massive, partially scaled phallus emerged. As the three dragon hunters watched in horror, the dragon flapped his wings for balance and leverage and forced his member deep into the squirming and squealing unicorn. The dragon’s jaws closed on her skull, holding her still. A serpentine tongue coiled about the unicorn’s horn, licking licentiously. Colored motes of light glittered and danced as the horn’s magic was stimulated by the dragon’s perverse stroking. Glittering shards of energy sparkled and crackled. The dragon began to thrust with urgency. His immense member, slick with her liquid magic, stroked in and out of the unicorn’s stretching vulva. Even from their vantage point on the ridge, the three could hear the meaty percussions of the dragon’s lust.
Proviciam released a sighing breath and ceased his mumbling. His gaze once more fully focused on this world, he glanced at Augustus and nodded. The protective spells were woven and firmly affixed. With that, Grogolex grunted and made to rise, axe in fist. Augustus’s hand restrained him with a light touch. The ogre glared and bared his nasty teeth, but Augustus merely shook his head, once, and Grogolex subsided. The three continued to watch.
The dragon was stroking at a steady pace, now, clearly enjoying himself. The glimmer of sorcery encased his shaft as he heaved and strained. He grunted and huffed like a bellows. Wisps of smoke escaped his jaws. His tongue continued to slobber and slurp magic from the violated horn. Beneath the dragon, the unicorn spasmed and kicked, let loose a whinnying cry. Her powerful haunches bunched, and she thrust herself up, staggered three steps beneath the dragon’s draping weight, and collapsed to her side. There she bucked and moaned as he pummeled in and out of her. The dragon, coiled about the unicorn’s body, squeezed tighter still, great loops of his body caressing her heaving flanks. He released his jaw-grip on her skull and arched his long neck back, and back further yet, until he nearly formed a loop. His eyes closed in ecstacy. His steady rhythm became a furious humping. Wet magic splashed over the snow from the unicorn’s vagina. Her eyes rolled back in her head as she bucked.
Gradually, a low rumble was building from deep within the dragon’s chest. The moment had come. During the dragon’s pinnacle of pleasure, they would strike, and avenge the horrific desecration of this symbol of virginity and purity.
Augustus gave the nod and the three burst from the ferns, avalanching down the far side of the ridge. Thanks to Proviciam’s thaumaturgy, Grogolex’s speed was superhuman; in less than ten heartbeats he was across the shallow valley and the dragon’s tail was severed at the base, bright blood arcing through the chilly air. The snow steamed where it splashed. The barbarian spun with the force of his blow and buried the massive axe in the dragon’s side. Scales twinkled as they erupted from the impact like sparks spat from a fire.
The dragon’s eyes flew open and his roar shook snow from the surrounding ridges. But, coiled as he was about the unicorn, pinned by her thrashing weight, he could not rise to meet the unexpected threat. His head snapped around at the end of his long neck, cracking like a whip. His chest expanded as he prepared to douse the attacking ogre in draconic fire.
Startled by the timely intrusion and the chance to escape, the unicorn chose that moment to scramble to her feet. Her sudden movement sent frissons of pleasure coursing along the dragon’s shaft, finishing what the dragon had begun; still clinging to her hindquarters, he roared as he climaxed. His body arched violently. He undulated in waves. His flaming breath vented harmlessly skyward. Grogolex was thrown to the ground and the axe was ripped from his grasp.
As the powerful cable of the dragon’s body unwound, the unicorn found her hooves and leaped free, bucking and kicking, spilling scintillating serpentine semen from her womb as she went. Thick and reeking, it, too, smoked in the snow.
Augustus arrived. As the dragon righted himself, the magic sword flashed in the winter sunlight, and the dragon’s left foreleg came free. Now gouting blood from three separate and grievous injuries, the dragon’s wings snapped open with a rattling clatter. He cupped gigantic scoops of air and bunched for a skyward spring.
Proviciam barked an eldritch word. Thunder boomed and lightning shredded the dragon’s leathery sails, leaving tattered and bloody remnants fluttering from blackened bone frames. The dragon collapsed in agony. Together, Augustus and Grogolex (who had recovered his axe) butchered the beast, hewing off great gobs of meat until both were head-to-toe gore. This accomplished, they paused to rest.
It caught all three dragon slayers entirely off guard when the unicorn returned, at full gallop, and spitted Augustus on her horn like a holiday roast. A magical discharge from the glittering spike splattered his innards over his fellows and half an acre of virgin snow. As his ruined corpse fell free, she danced sideways, stabbing down with her horn. Proviciam’s incantation went incompleted. The horn had pierced his voice box. Arcane energies surged without direction. He crashed to the ground like a boulder falling off a mountain, and there he lay as all his great store of fat began to bubble and boil beneath his skin.
Grogolex stood immobilized with horror. The unicorn’s eyes were full of rage. She pawed the ground and tossed her head. Her horn shone like an icicle in the winter sun. She charged. Grogolex was not quick enough. His axe had whistled harmlessly through only half its arc by the time she plunged her glowing lance into his heart.
The three had made a terrible mistake. Grogolex knew it as he died, for as he lay there, bleeding out his last, he saw the unicorn make her way to the dragon’s corpse and nuzzle it tenderly. A single, shining tear fell from her eye. Her horse quim quivered in remembered pleasure; a few more dragon drops fell free. With horn ablaze, the unicorn began regenerating her lover.
Grogolex knew no more.
*Image from Internet*